So I didn’t rush over to Cheeseburger in Paradise the day it opened up in Newport News. In fact I avoided it for a couple of months. But every time that I drove past this restaurant to go to elsewhere, I would glance over and see that it was packed. So I figured that it was time to go check the place out. So I got my crew together and we picked a time when it wouldn’t be quite so sardine-like.

When I walked through the door, I was pleasantly surprised. The place is decorated to the teeth (seriously, they might have decorated my waitress’ teeth). The walls, and even the ceilings, are hand-painted, and the whole restaurant looks and feels like a restaurant bungalow on the beach. There is a ton of attention to detail in the ambience; from palm trees and grass roof overhangs to bright tropical fish on the bathrooms walls.

It is the most decoration I have seen in a restaurant since Rainforest Café.

Remembering the “high quality” of food that The Rainforest Café used to serve (before they closed up shop, that is), I looked through the menu with unusually low expectations. Now, CheeseBurger in Paradise is jointly owned by Jimmy Buffet and the people who own Outback, but much to my dismay, they had no Bloomin’ Onions. What they did have was a good list of interesting burgers (their namesake… duh) and a long, long list of mixed drinks. Menu items had names with lines from Jimmy Buffet songs like Son of a Son of a Sailor Salad and of course the Cheeseburger in Paradise. I had the “Not too Particular, Not too Pressed” Burger.

It's topped with cheddar and Velveeta (yep, I said Velveeta), pickles, mayo. and salsa ketchup???? All of that is slathered in a ton of butter and pressed on a hot griddle. Which ups the price of the burger to include heart bypass surgery. But ooh, it was sooo worth it. Don’t be scared away by the salsa ketchup (it isn’t spicy at all) because this artery hardening concoction is delicious.

The sandwich comes with a either fries or sweet potato chips, both of which are less than remarkable… ok, they both suck.

Speaking of sucking, I ordered my normal test drink, a Bloody Mary. As you might have guessed, I was less than happy with the drink. It was quite possibly the worst Bloody Mary I have ever had, which took me by surprise because most everything else had been pretty good so far. In fact, the restaurant brags that it hired a specialized team to develop all of their mixed drinks. So I decided to test out one of their more mainstream drinks: the Pina Colada. [If you like Pina Coladas or getting caught in … the … ahem, sorry] I thought it was really good… weird, but good. It wasn’t like any other Pina Colada I have ever had, but it was definitely made with very high quality ingredients, just not the normal ingredients. The Bloody Mary was probably the same problem. So if you have a favorite drink, this might not be the best place to drink it, but it is a place to experiment and find a new favorite.

I finished up with a desert. Not that I was hungry at this point, but I figured that it was my duty to report to you on all facets of the restaurant. The hardships I go through for my work. So I sucked it up and tried to shove in a banana chocolate chocolate chip cake. What I won't do for you. It was definitely one of those desserts that, even though you are full, you will still try to stuff it in. Someone else at the table tried the Chocolate Nachos. They sounded really interesting, but they weren't good. Needless to say, the cake got decimated and the nachos were left untouched.

Our waitress was very good and very attentive. A little too good… hmmmm. Seriously, the whole staff seems well trained (they roll over and catch frisbees in thier mouths) and there was never a moment where my coke wasn't kept full (the only thing that matters really). The service is very reminiscent of Outback where they seem to follow the same script and receive the same training.

As an added bonus we had the pleasure of a live performer. He was quite good, so I looked over the schedule and found a long list of different perfomers. If the other names on the list are as good as the guy I saw, then you won’t be upset. When the live performer wasn’t singing, generic music was played throughout the restaurant and I was pleased to only hear one Jimmy Buffet song the whole time I was there (A bunch of Buffet songs would have just been tacky).

All in all, I would say that I was pretty impressed. It helped that I walked in with a good bit of skepticism... hmm... umm, just forget everything I just said… the place is horrible. You better go check it out to see how bad it is… (There! Now you can walk out lovin’ it like I did :) )

There are two locations you can check out in the Hampton Roads area:
Virginia Beach
Newport News

Enjoy.