| In Search of the American Idol | | Print | |
| Written by Mike Diana | |
| Monday, 22 May 2006 | |
 It's down to Taylor and Kat in a race that appears to be neck and neck. Who will win the title when Fox's marathon, popularity contest comes to a screeching halt this week? Did you call in or text your vote for the next American Idol? Can musical icons be created by counting phone calls at a cost of a nickel per? Would you stake your musical reputation and future on a trio of judges that feature a former cheerleader, a stuck up Brit TV producer and a session bass guitarist/record producer all of whom suck much of the focus (scripted I am sure) during the supposed competition?The American Idol series (Nashville Star and Rock Star for that matter) are popularity contests first and music competitions second. "Turn on the Wayback Machine, Myron!" Let us envision Elvis in his youth joined by the Man In Black as Idol hopefuls and transport them to the acapella audition room in front of Simon, Randy and Paula. Remember (unless you didn't know) the trio does not listen to the entire horde gathered to audition. There is a weeding out process. Yes there is. Only a small percent make it to the "room". Ramps up the cruelty meter doesn't it...knowing they let the weird and hopeless through so Simon can verbally eviscerate those doe eyed, no talents who cling desperately to their supposed God given abilities. The horror is their making it all the way to the final judgement, their minds so deluded they don't see they're being set up. Back to Elvis and Johnny. Can you picture Mr. Cash opening his mouth and croaking out "Billy Jean" and then Elvis gyrating his way through "Proud Mary"? Do you think they would escape the room without comment ("Yo Dog. You were a little pitchy on the Rollin' part, but it was ok. What do you think Paula?") or with a yellow paper passing each on to the next round? How would Janis Joplin have fared? ("Darling, you seem drunk and why do you keep your eyes closed all the time you are singing?") Can an icon be voted into existance? Does singing a Barry Manilow number picked by Tommy Matolla and blessed by Clive Davis make you a star? Do the participants even know who the aforementioned crones are...were in their prime? For God's sake, Clive Davis has to be near 100. He ran CBS, started Arista and now floats around RCA...no one texting votes cares. The vultures are circling over the music business. CD sales continue to slump. Blank cd's go for 15 cents and we are expected to pay $17 to own one with a Record Company label glued to it? Clive stood on the Idol stage and touted record sales by former Idols and losers. He failed to mention Kelly Clarkson's monster followup CD success came after she broke from the Idol team and did her own thing. Is she an icon? Does Kat have what it takes to be Janis...Tina...Aretha...Barbra? Will Taylor simply be compared vocally to Michael McDonald and physically to Joe Cocker? Is there a Presley, Cash, McCartney or Lennon up there toiling in anonimity? Time to wish both Katherine and Taylor all the best. We will see Katherine's successes on the Broadway stage, in movies and on TV. She will not win the "Idol" stamp and yet she has the best shot as future icon. After Taylor wins, gets the album out and completes the tour he will be back with his band doing that Vegas "thing". There is no Elvis here. There is no Janis. There will be no one on that stage this week that will shake up the music industry and make a run at the brass ring. Simon will get richer and he will promise next years competition will be even better...don't believe a word he says. Better to take stock tips from P.T. Barnum. |
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Oooh. Taylor won! In your face America. Epileptic and prematurely gray men can be idols too! I was part of the soul patrol. I am glad that he won. He was definitley the underdog. America loves underdogs. Wow... it never occured to me that Taylor would have a chance against 'the Kat' next week. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy them both, I just don't see America picking the awkward (almost epileptic) but incredibly moving soul singer over the gorgeous looking much more standard sounding pop star. All that aside, it doesn't matter, I watch American Idol religiously, but not because I think that we are going to find any 'idols.' It's reality tv for singers (barring the mean-hearted audition process). Anyone who has watched and followed 'Survivor' will know what I mean. No one expects that the guy who wins all of the physical challenges will be considered, at the end of the show, the most physically fit man in the world. It is just a fun, empathetic ride. Where we can cheer for people that are like us. We can wonder, 'what would I do if I were there?' Where we can scream quietly at America's and/or the judges bad judgement. There are no idols here. It is just a money making scheme powered by fake hype. Next season will be like every other... and I will be glued to the tv. :) |