Guide Installment #2 – The First Date, part 2

Never Assume – I repeat… NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING. Never assume, stereotype, pigeonhole, presume, typecast, label, or categorize… because as soon as you do, you’ll be wrong and she’ll be mad and possibly never speak to you again. Now, I’m not talking about obvious things like assuming she’s stupid because she’s blonde. If you do that then you deserve what you get. I’m talking about less obvious things. For example, don’t assume you’re going to pay the check. These days, some women may consider that a blow to women’s liberation. However, you should offer to pay the check and see how she takes it. You don’t have to do this verbally, just pick it up when it’s laid down and see how she reacts. If she pretends not to notice… pay the bill. If she says something like “Aw, you don’t have to get that”… pay the bill. If she pulls out her wallet and starts laying down money, first say “no I’ll get it”. If she refuses after that… split the bill.

High and Low Fashion – Don’t wear holey jeans to the ballet. Don’t wear a tux to a trailer pull. Hopefully those are obvious. After that, it gets a bit harder so here are a few guidelines. Slacks and a nice button-down shirt are hardly ever wrong. When in doubt, go for something generic like that. Jeans are fine if you’re doing something outdoorsy, but make sure you’re not wearing the pair that shows your Superman underwear. For up-scale dates (for example: fine dining, the opera, the ballet), the slacks and button-down combo is still a viable option. If you’re planning on surprising your date with something that requires specific attire, PLEASE tell her what to wear. She’ll be a bit annoyed if she’s wearing her little black dress when you take her fishing.

Be upfront – I’m not saying confess everything right down to that quiz you cheated on in third grade, but just don’t hide the important stuff. I had been dating a guy for a couple months when all of a sudden he told me he had a 3 year-old son. I understand that he was afraid that knowing he had a kid might have scared me off, but I definitely would have preferred to know earlier in the relationship. Again, I’m not saying you need to tell your life story, but don’t avoid topics if they come up. She’ll appreciate your honesty and frankness.

To kiss or not to kiss – Generally speaking, assume that you’re not going to kiss on your first date. Possibly even your second. Third date, though, that’s where you can start worrying. I’m not going to write about the first kiss here, in the First Date section. You’ll just have to wait for the section containing information about the Third Date. Be patient, young grasshopper.